Depression and Cleaning the Refrigerator
This has been a difficult post to write. I kept debating whether to just write about the fact that I deeply cleaned and organized my refrigerator or to discuss the deeper issues. Depression is hard to talk about. It is something that I have struggled with my whole life. I tend to be a perfectionist and have a hard time when I think that I am not as good of a ______________ as I should be. You can fill in that blank with just about anything: teacher, wife, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, etc. Some times are better than others.
Overall, I am fortunate. First of all, I am living a blessed life. I have a supportive husband, a wonderful family and many friends. I love my job and feel lucky to live where I do and to have had the opportunities that I have had in my life. The problem with depression is that it is not logical. I can tell myself that I have a great life and still have trouble getting out of bed and living it.
I am also lucky that my depression is not as severe as some people experience. There are things that I can do to manage it. Yoga helps a lot, and I have been doing yoga every day since I got back last Tuesday. Cleaning gives me a way to focus on something that I can control and makes me feel better as well. Those of you that are always amazed by how clean my house is now know my deep, dark secret. I would actually rather not struggle with depression and have a messier house.
So, anyhow, last week I was sad and having trouble finding motivation. I needed to focus on a small area. I picked the refrigerator. I spared you the messy before picture. Honestly, that is only because I was not planning to write this post and I forgot to take one. Here is the after.
I started with the freezer. Some of the things that we had in there had been there for far too long. We actually were not even sure what was in there. We had decided in May that we would cook all of the food in there this summer. Then, we traveled all summer and were never home to cook.
So the freezer needed to be cleaned out and organized. First, I pulled everything out and put it in categories. Then, I cleaned the freezer and put everything back in an organized fashion. Two shelves are dedicated to meat, one to soup makings, one to fruits and one to vegetables. Miscellaneous products are on the shelves in the door.
I also made a checklist of everything contained in the freezer and hung it on the door. This way we know exactly what is in there and can check things off as we use them. I hope that this will keep the waste to a minimum in the future.
Next, I moved on to the refrigerator. The method was similar. I pulled everything out and put it on the counter placing everything in categories. Then, I cleaned the interior of the fridge. The freezer was not that dirty, but there was some disgusting stuff on the other side. Be glad that I did not take any pictures!
We had to throw away quite a few things. Many of them were things that friends and family bought when they were visiting and never ate. The yogurt was never eaten because it was purchased to use in smoothies before the blender broke last July or rather the July that occurred in 2014. I hate throwing out food, but hopefully having a more organized refrigerator will prevent that from happening in the future.
Once everything was in its place, the refrigerator was practically empty. It looks wonderful. Sometimes, I go in there just to look at it. It makes me feel better.
When I finished the inside, I turned to the exterior and organized it as well. We had been adding pictures as they came in a haphazard manner. I made them into more of a grid. Gallery walls are big right now, but we do not have one. I guess our version is on the ice box. Have you heard of a gallery refrigerator?
After the fridge I washed the rugs, pulled out the stove and cleaned behind it, and washed the floors. I am feeling much better now that the kitchen is clean. Also, yesterday I went to visit a good friend from high school in Venezuela. Cleaning is good for depression, but even better is spending time with loved ones.
Update: After reading this I realized that it sounded as though I had gone to Venezuela. What I meant was that we went to school together in Venezuela. I visited her in New York City.
Happy Homemaking!
I am a teacher, traveler, artist, writer, homemaker and a whole lot more. In January 2009, I bought the Cape of Dreams. It was the second house that I had ever owned, but it was the first that I bought by myself. I now live in the house with my husband Douglas, our dog Kahlua, and Crème de Menthe, the cat. Because, what life is complete without a little Kahlua and Cream? I love arts and crafts of all kinds, and I refinish furniture as well. We are slowly redoing our entire house. You can read about my projects on my blog www.CapeofDreams.com
I’m with you, Jessica. I completely understand. I do have a messier house, alas. Not a clearer mind, tho.
Best,
Tanya
It is nice to know that I am not the only one. At least you have kids to blame the mess on!
Oh Jessica! Thank you for writing this. I, too, suffer from depression [and anxiety], and have since puberty. Thankfully meds and therapy have made a big difference, but without them I am lost. I, too, use cleaning and organizing to help manage my feelings. It is so wonderful to engross yourself in something tangible, and logical, and with visually pleasing results. The 2 times I’ve cleaned our basement [including last weekend] have been to pretty much escape feelings and focus on cleaning and organizing instead. Like you looking at your clean fridge, I go look at the clean basement often and it makes me feel better / calmer / more in control. Thank you for writing this. I know how hard it is to reveal parts of your inner self to the world. You are so brave!
It really is an important topic to discuss. I know that it is taboo, but I have been trying to be more honest about it since Robin Williams killed himself. It is better to face it and ask for help than to suffer in silence. If I can help one person with this post, even a little, it is worth it.
When I read this post all I could see was how similar I am. Having suffered from depression and panic attacks myself, I also manage my mood by cleaning, sorting and list writing. With summer holidays coming to an end and it becoming darker earlier I have felt the twinge of depression so have busied myself with birthday and christmas lists. It might seem mad doing this so early but it works for me. Take care x
It is amazing how similar we can be. I know that there are a lot of people that will not identify with these feelings, but there are many that can. I wish you call the best with your struggles. Reach out any time!
That was very brave of you to write this post. I think you manage to control your depression pretty well and I know how hard it is, so I admire you.
On a lighter note, I love that picture of you and your husband on your freezer!
It was terrifying to write this post, but the response has been great. It took me a while to respond to all of the comments because I was so touched.
I love that picture too. It is from our wedding, and it makes me feel special to see the way that he was looking at me in that moment. I am lucky to be so loved.
Jessica, I admire you so much for writing this post. It’s not easy to open up about personal matters on a blog that the whole world can read. Seems you know yourself well and know how to manage your depression in a positive way.
My fridge/freezer is just like your “before” situation, inside and out. I hate to think about how much food we waste by literally losing it in the depths of the fridge! We have several science projects in there right now. Maybe if it rains this weekend, I should tend to that …
Thank you, D’Arcy. I think that it is an important topic to put in the open, but it was hard to admit to!
Good luck with your fridge this weekend! It’s not so bad once you start.
Thank you for writing this post. I admire your strength and courage! I struggle with these issues … I can really relate. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!
P.S. I agree with the comment about the photo on your fridge! 🙂
I hope that you know that you can always reach out. There might not be much that I can do, but we can always commiserate.
Thank you so much, you truly are a lovely friend to me. xxx
Beautiful, poignant post. Thank you for letting us know you better. On the cleaning side, when you said you pulled out the stove I was thinking “you go, girl!” I didn’t even know that was a cleaning option but I’m pretty sure I’ll never find out personally. Jo @ Let’s Face the Music
Thank you. I try to pull the stove out at least once a year. Ours is so close to the sides of the counters that a lot of crap gets trapped between. The stove is actually not that heavy.
Thanks for sharing so personally. Time with friends and small goals — such good keys for wellness
Thank you for commenting. Small goals really do help. Sometimes I just have to force myself to do one thing. After that doing another is easier. The first one is always the hardest.
Thank you for sharing and all the best to you.
Thank you for your sweet comment, Marta.
Hi Jessica.
Funny, we have a lot in common, apart from a love of decorating! I have anxiety, and when it’s at its worst, I get panicky about being alone with my thoughts. I have to get OUT of the house, and find a distraction (work is perfect). So unfortunately, when I’m struggling, my house gets reeeeeeeeally messy!
When the rest of the family are home on the weekends, I LOVE to work on my mosaic for relief. It’s meditative, peaceful, and very distracting! I also do yoga a couple of times a week, and take medication, AND practise Buddhist philosophy, and it all helps!
But you’ve inspired me to be brave, and TRY staying home next time I feel like that, and just BURY myself in a projects and see if it works. See, your blog HAS helped someone!
“Hats off” to you for putting your depression out there in the public domain. Depression ISN’T logical, and anyone who says, “But how can you be depressed, you have such a great life!” just doesn’t understand that. It looks like plenty of people reading this blog DO, though.
Take care of yourself (and be kind to yourself!)
Jenny (renovator’s dream)
This means a great deal to me. I understand wanting to be out of the house. That is another coping mechanism of mine. Why else do you think I travel so much?! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Hello Jessica, You did a great job. Depression is not so rare problem. There are lot of people who cope with it. Don`t worry. Cleaning will help you sometimes. Thank you for sharing your story. Best regards!
Hi Laverne, thank you for your sweet comment. I love your name. Laverne is my grandmother’s name, although to us she has always been Grandma Bernie.
Hello Jessica, my husband calls me like this. 🙂 What a coincidence 🙂 I love your name, too. Greetings!