How To Refinish a Man

Alright, I lied to get your attention. I have no idea how to perfect a man. I just happened to marry a great one, so not much “refinishing” was required. On Saturday, we celebrate our one-year anniversary. I am lucky to have found and married such a wonderful man. Thank you, Honey, for making me so happy.

For those of you who do not know our story or for those of you who would like to hear it again, here it is.

The day I met my man, he taught me mouth to mouth. We love to tell people that we met that way, but the truth is that is how most of my colleagues met him as well. Douglas is the athletic trainer at the school where I teach. One of his responsibilities when I started working there in 2007 was to teach the CPR class to certify all of the coaches every year.

I was intrigued by this man with the sexy legs, so I asked around. Unfortunately, I found out that he had a girlfriend. However, she lived out of state, and he did not get to see her often. We would occasionally have lunch together in the cafeteria, but I did not get to spend much time with him my first year at the school.

In 2008, the head swimming coach planned a training trip to the Bahamas. As assistant coach, I was the second chaperon, and Douglas was invited to be the third. We spent a great deal of time together on that trip, and that is where our friendship truly began.

He still had the girlfriend, but she remained out of state. Douglas and I began to spend more time together, as friends. He invited me to a Superbowl party at his friends’ house because he knew I am a Steelers fan. He also invited me to chaperon a ski trip.

That spring his girlfriend broke up with him, but I had started dating someone else. We continued to hang out as friends, and slowly my other relationship waned and my interest in Douglas grew.

Once we were both single, it still took him over two months to kiss me. Things progressed very slowly. He kept telling me that he was not “ready for a relationship.”

Valentine’s weekend 2010, my mother, brother and a friend came into town to help me take down the paneling in my living and dining rooms.

Underneath were two layers of wallpaper that also had to come down.

Douglas came over and helped. He spent the whole weekend hanging out with my family.

When they left, he remained to help me finish up. Then, he told me that he wanted to make me dinner for Valentine’s Day. He went to the grocery store and came back with ingredients and a bouquet of flowers. We had a wonderful meal, but later he again told me that he was not ready for a relationship. I was furious. What he kept telling me and how he was acting were completely opposite. I told him that he had to make up his mind that night. If he were to leave, I would understand that he did not want to be with me. We would not be able to hang out for a while, but I would get over it eventually. If he were to stay, however, it would be understood that after that we would be a couple. I sat there nervously pretending to read a magazine in a disinterested manner while he made up his mind. It was the longest five minutes of my life. Finally, he sat back down. Phew!

That March we went to Aruba, which was our first solo trip together.

We spent the next year and a half getting to know each other better. He met the rest of my family. “What do you think of them?,” I asked him. “I will let you know when my ears stop ringing,” he told me.

He took me to Michigan to meet his family. I loved them and was glad to be around little kids again. I was especially happy that his niece and nephew also like to do puzzles.

We spent Christmas together for the first time in 2010 with his family. It was also our final Christmas with our two elderly dogs. Unbeknownst to us at the time, we would lose them both in 2011.

I also brought him to Venezuela to meet my host family.

In July 2011, he asked me to marry him. I will save that story for a later date.

Then, on June 29, 2012, we were married in a beautiful ceremony surrounded by our family and friends. It was truly a day to remember. I cannot look at the pictures of that day without smiling. You can read other posts I have written about the wedding here and here.

This past year has had its ups and downs. There have been times when we have been close to strangling each other, but we always work it out. When people ask me if I feel differently now that I am married, I always say yes. The difference is that I know that neither one of us is leaving. We made a commitment to each other, and we are in this for the long haul. When problems arise, we know that we have to figure them out. I love the security that this provides me. I feel very loved despite my imperfections.

It does not hurt that Douglas cooks for me, helps me with all of my projects, and looks so damn good doing it all! He is a good father to the furry babies. I am lucky to have found such a great man. Did I say that already?

In closing, I cannot give you any tips on how to refinish a man, but I highly recommend that you hold out for one that will treat you well. It is much easier to create a happy home when you have a partner who is willing to work with you to accomplish that goal. Thank you, Douglas. I love you.

Happy Homemaking!